We’ve Turned Our Backs on Lesbian Media

An analysis of the reception of Heated Rivalry and that of Lesbian/sapphic media

I wish to say, first and foremost, that I feel such immense pride and happiness at seeing queer love represented on screen. Moreover, Heated Rivalry offers something especially meaningful: a BIPOC man that is portrayed as emotional, vulnerable, and loved deeply. The show gifts us a beautiful story, and I appreciate it. What I wish to address here is not the work itself, but its reception. My intention is not to accuse, but to identify patterns that I have noticed. 

When I first heard the early buzz about the show, I remember telling my sister, who had initially recommended it to me, that I felt an internal moral quandary. There was something that deeply unsettled me. Regardless of my commitment to supporting queer media, it weighed on me that I was to contribute to an industry that had not afforded the same attention, advertisement, or care toward shows centering lesbians and queer women in general. 

As a lesbian woman, I have become a master of disappointment. Disappointment when yet another sapphic couple who displayed a love so beautiful, fiery, charged is squandered. Killed off. Cancelled. Separated. A product of infidelity. The hatred the world holds for lesbians takes many forms, but the monster will always remain the same. It is a pattern that every queer woman invested in our media has noticed. It is relentless and exhausting. I have always believed that it is a form of punishment for loving in a way that will never involve men.  

There exists a common misconception–one that I have been guilty of perpetuating myself–that queer women are received more favourably by society than gay men. While I do not wish to compare the groups’ struggles or hold them in competition with one another, there remain some undeniable truths. We live in an androcentric world. More specifically, we live in a white androcentric world. It follows, then, that women—especially BIPOC women—are bound to be punished and hurt by a society that has made it clear it was never meant for them. Therefore, when we add the nuanced degree of homophobia, gay women and men experience oppression in different ways. The objectification that is innately incorporated in society’s perception of womanhood inevitably extends to sexuality. It is here where we witness the hyper-sexualization of lesbians across pornography, television, and in film—often directed by men. Blue is the Warmest Color may come to mind. In male-centered relationships, however, like that in Heated Rivalry, there remains a degree of objectification, but the nature of that objectification differs. Men, though discriminated against for their sexuality, still benefit from gendered superiority, which does not allow them to be objectified in the same manner women are.   

The consumers have no interest in lesbian stories which are unproblematic, soft, gentle, sexual in their own right, and that end with them both being happy and not dead! Instead, there seems to be an unspoken rule in society that such shows must always be hypersexual in a manner that appeals to the male gaze, end in death, in separation, or, on occasion, when they end up marrying a man despite their wishes. 

Some may argue that The L Word and Orange Is the New Black are two shows that have defied these odds in their multi-season success. I argue that they have only narrowly escaped it. The L Word is ripe with all the aforementioned tropes: a complex love story ends in sudden death;  a once-loving relationship later deteriorates into infidelity a masculine-presenting lesbian finds love only to lose it through her toxic habits and commitment issues. Orange is the New Black contains one of the most unsettling murders against a Black lesbian character—one I still refuse to watch, alongside repeated cheating narratives and the harmful predatory lesbian trope. What unites them both is the multitude of hypersexual scenes in the works. I will never reject the notion that lesbians should forfeit their sexuality to avoid being hypersexualized by the public. It is beautiful, natural, and powerful. 

There is a repeated pattern. Shows or movies which have decentralized men are punished for it, either by us, the consumers, or the industry that produces them. In addition to the aforementioned points, there is a twofold attitude that society holds towards lesbians that bleeds into the media. Society does not take them seriously. People cannot fathom that an individual—a woman, more specifically—has both denied compulsory heterosexuality and decentered men. In relationships such as that of Shane and Ilya’s, it follows that they would be taken more seriously as two men, as opposed to those which have decentered men entirely. Lesbianism specifically has been perceived as a transitory state under the problematic perception that all sexuality is fluid. While this remains true for some individuals and modes of loving, it is harmful to apply this to lesbianism as it posits that their standing as women who only love women holds a capacity for change, or reform, if you wish to be candid. If it is not this lack of seriousness, then it is the underperception of lesbians' existence at all. 

As a result of this, media executives view queer media as not worthy of investment because of the perceived smaller audience, so they do not receive the marketing they deserve. Alternatively, executives often argue that it is harder to market lesbian love in media because it is less likely to be consumed by a straight male audience. This is, of course, unless it is highly sexual. There is also a perception—despite the reality that both straight women and men alike consume lesbian porn—sapphic shows are often accused of prurient interests, which adds another degree of discouragement and reasoning as to why queer shows are often discontinued. 

While I maintain that the actors of the show take no part in this relentless cycle, it is one that society at large remains guilty of. Take Heartstopper, for instance. It has three seasons and has a feature film in the making. Meanwhile, Yellowjackets, a show that arguably had a wide reception of queer and straight men and women alike, has ended much earlier than the storyline deserved. Additionally, it has broken apart one of the few lesbians in the show and punished them in a largely distasteful manner.

Willow. First Kill. A league of their own. High Fidelity. I Am Not Okay With This. Everything Sucks. The Wilds. The 100. The Imperfects. Everything Now. Warrior Nun. Trinkets. Gentleman Jack. Paper Girls. The L Word: Generation Q... the list remains endless. 

Homophobia undeniably remains a lived reality for all individuals who Judith Butler has named “unintelligible” identities—those which do not align with the heterosexual matrix. However, it hurts to see the consistent disregard society holds for lesbians. We are reminded repeatedly that we do not get to have this. Our joy is not ours to cherish and hold on to. We do not get to keep it. To see our love accurately represented seems to be a rare divine blessing we must pray for at bloodied altars. We are punished for our existence, who we love, and how we love. We deserve to be seen, to stay, to have our voices amplified, appreciated, and handled with care. But for now, “it’s no use, Mother, dear” as Sappho once wrote. They refuse to turn their eyes towards us.